One Last Comfort
by Shire hobbit
Summary: Spoilers for OotP Harry is plagued with dreams after a certain someone dies. All he wants is to talk to him again. NO SLASH


A/N: Okay, first of all, I suppose . . . a disclaimer. As if you didn't know already, I don't own the characters, or anything. I was mad after a certain someone died and this is the result. :)

Also, in the book 'The Veil' is mentioned as both a "curtain" and a "veil." Therefore, both terms are mentioned here. Enjoy . . .

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Harry inched closer to the curtain. Yes, he had been here and seen this many times in his dreams, forced to relive the moment. He was standing in front of the Veil, watching and waiting. Any moment now someone would come; there would be a fight and Sirius would fall through . . . again.

But things seemed to be different this time. Where was everybody? Harry waited and waited, yet no one came. Perhaps he wasn't dreaming this time; perhaps he was really here. But no, that wasn't possible. He didn't remember how he could have gotten here, and even if he had, they wouldn't let him back inside here. No, of course, he was dreaming.

But why weren't any of the normal events taking place? He was alone, and it looked as if it would stay that way. Of course, it wasn't that he desired to see Sirius die again, he just found it strange. Perhaps this time it was after, rather than before, it all happened. But why? He hadn't been here; hadn't seen anything.

He looked around at the door, reassuring himself that no one was going to come through; reassuring himself that he wouldn't, yet again, have to watch the unfortunate event unfold. He took a step toward the veil and heard the voices. Had Sirius' voice joined them now?

"Sirius?" he asked questioningly, almost immediately wondering how much more ridiculous he could be. After all, he was talking to a curtain . . . But his heart leapt into his mouth when the curtain fluttered lightly, almost as if in response.

"Sirius?" he asked again, this time much more anxiously, yet still not daring to hope. The curtain fluttered again, and Harry looked around, looking for something, yet hoping for nothing. No, there was nothing there; there was no possible way for that curtain to move except for . . . Sirius.

For the first time in months, Harry felt himself growing excited . . . happy. He had hoped, so often, for another chance with Sirius. All he wanted was to be able to talk to him once more. Yet that chance had never happened. All the things he had wanted to say, he was sure would remain in his heart, never once uttered to another. But here he was; here, he would be able to tell Sirius everything that he had wanted to say since Sirius had died; things he had never told him before, although Harry was sure he had known.

But where to start?

"I can't believe I'm actually here," he said nervously. "I never thought I'd get to see, talk or hear from you again . . . and . . . and here we are."

Harry drew a breath, considering what to say. When the curtain fluttered encouragingly, he went on.

"I . . . I miss you," his voice was shaking; this was harder than he had thought. He drew another breath to calm himself, and continued. "I guess I never thought I would lose you - well, of course, I did, but never thought it would really happen." He wondered what it was like on the other side, ". . . and it's my fault. If I had only opened that mirror you gave me, if I hadn't believed Kreacher, if I hadn't come here . . ."

The veil fluttered, almost furiously. Sirius obviously didn't want Harry blaming himself.

"No, you're wrong, it is my fault," Harry wished he could at least see Sirius - this was so hard. "I made a stupid decision, and you had to come and try to save me."

Harry took a deep breath, calming himself, then went on.

"I wish you could be here," he said quietly. "There are so many things I . . ." Harry cut himself off. "Sometimes I just need . . ." Harry stopped again. "You were always . . ." Yet again, Harry didn't finish. Could he think of anything to say without sounding selfish? He remained quiet as he thought. No, not at the moment he couldn't think of anything else. So he just said it, "I need you."

It was short and to the point, yet Harry felt he need to elaborate on that statement.

"Ron and Hermione . . . yes, I can talk to them about anything, and I do," he shook his head sadly. "But it'll never be the same. Whenever you were around, things were . . . different." The truth was Harry missed the love he felt around Sirius. Sure, he would never be Harry's father, but he still gave Harry that kind of fatherly love that Harry had only once before known, and even then, only for one year of his life.

". . . I love you . . ." Harry said quietly. He sat down and leaned against one of the pillars holding the veil up, pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face, allowing the tears to come.

"Almost every night I dream about what happened and what I saw," Harry didn't feel apprehensive about talking anymore. "It's something I'll never forget, not even in my dreams . . . I'll probably have to watch you die again and again every night, forever." He looked up angrily and slammed his fist against the ground, ". . . and I can't take it!"

Harry heard the veil flutter and looked up at it, his face streaked with tears. He couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, I know you want me to feel better . . . but it's so hard. I wish you could be here with me."

The curtain fluttered again and this time it slightly touched Harry's arm. Harry smiled again - that was probably the closest to a hug he would be getting. "I love you . . ." he muttered again, before slowly fading away.


End file.
